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Hello~ it has been a long time since my last post. XD
I'm kinda busy with exam and stuff.
Well for today I'll continue the story about Bestfriend.


     Hi, as you already know, I'm Sarah. From the last thing that I had told you guys is that I was sent to other school to attend the special class. After 3 years struggling with the surrounding, problems, friends, and exam (a big exam PRM) finally it was the final year for me in this school. I be able to transfer to school where my brother studied. The important thing was I was transfer to the same school as my bestfriend. I was excited and some of my friends in my junior high school were transfered to the same school of mine. 

    At first it was exciting, I was able to be with my friend from my previous school and also I was be able to be with my bestfriend. My bestfriend was in the first class and I was in second class because I was a transfer student.I chatted with my bestfriend like before. Laughing, joking and telling stories. I also be able to walk home with my bestfriend because my bestfriend house was near to my house. It was really fun and I really enjoyed it.  However I was very easy to get jealous and I have this special instinct where I can detect if that person really want to be friend with that someone or not.  Then I was facing my first problem with fake friends of my bestfriend. Well, I didn't do anything. I just bear with it and time pass and they all got into private school. but problem never end. 

   Since I started enter this school I become close to my friend from previous school. We were really close until people think we were non-identical twins. They said we were dressed alike and our attitude and act were same. So, I just go on with it until that day. One day, when I was lining up in my class, my bestfriend look at me for many times. I asked her what was wrong and suddenly she said "I think we are not close anymore like before.". She said again "I don't know but maybe you are too close to your friend (from previous school) and its like we are not close anymore"  I was shock and a little sad. I'm shock and sad because I didn't realize I did this to my bestfriend. I did something that I really don't want her to feel and to experience this from me. But it was not bothered me much because I didn't think that I'll be apart from her again. I keep trying to not making her felt like that and it seems that she was ok with it.

    But then, the real problem came. My bestfriend and my friend (close friend) from my previous school became my palce to share problem and stories. So I got really attached to them and I really hold them in my heart. I feel like they were my family. My girl sibling (as I only have brothers). But unexpected things always happens. My close friend, she got a boyfriend. It was her first time though. And without she realized, she left me slowly. She being more time with her boyfriend and less with her other friends. One day, it was my duty day to lineup with others by the parking side.I can't bear to be with my close friend. I felt a bit disturbed by her because of her changes. So I decided to go to my bestfriend and ask her to lineup with me. Before I reached her, I heard she said "You guys know what. I'm moving.". All of other friends were denied it but the she said it was true and she was about to take all her profile. I heard her and left. 

Well that's all for now :3 I'll update the part 3 later because here already 4 in the morning (_ _lll I need sleep (although i can't sleep earlier so i decide to update my blog XD )

so see u later :)
 

Yesterday I had a short conversation with my pen pal. It have been quite a long time didn't chat with him or others. Sorry guys. I am very sorry.

This is for my pen pals Walaa, Heba, Alice, Mai, Ryo and others that I currently stop talking to.

As u guys know I have some problems. Just like Mora, we both kinda have some problem of depression. But the roots of the cause of the depression are getting bigger and bigger especially me. So I don't want to drag you guys with me in this matter. I dont want to let your happy mood down just because of my problem. I really do want to see you guys happy. So I stop talking as my words is getting worse and worse to others. I dont want you guys to hear it cuz I really love you guys and appreciated our friendship.

The truth is, early of 2013, I was really hyper up because it almost 3rd of February. It was our first day chatting together in the facebook account. but... something not allowing me to say and celebrate it. I'm sorry.

Friendship cant built with a force right? So, I can't do anything about it. But i had tried ^^

to mora: 

fuhhhh.... done with updating the blogskin.
So long since the last entry. Well I kinda busy with form 4 and it is not a HONEY MOON as the teachers told us before (_ _lll it is such a pain in the ass!! TT^TT

I'm not just busy actually... something just got into my life and it is slowly ruining it. It is a big problem but i just realize, I'm the only one who can put a stop to it because it is between just me and the person, a girl (sorry i cant tell who of course cuz it will ruin her image) and I should not involve others in this matter. I"m such a stupid person.

Yeahh... it keeps disturbing my studies and everything. making my emotion unstable. Actually I've been with this problem for years but it becoming bigger starting past few months of this year...

sigh.. I dont know how to solve it but i have to... Wish me luck!

TO MY PARENTS AND MY BFF WAN AINATUL SYAKIRAH.

Thanks mum and dad for giving me the walkman :'D Its beautiful >w< <3

And to my bff, thank you so much for the purse and the book >w< i really like them and i really appreciate it :')

TO RYO, MORA AND HEBA.

mora and heba, thanks for coming back ^^ even thought in a new way or else. even thought u guys still carrying some burden that we dont know until making u guys really down but u guys still come back and talked to me :') I was about to loose my patient, waiting cuz in cyber and real life both are same in different way. and mora, thanks for making us all come back.

ryo, u already talked to ricc, alice and others who u already stop talking to. i am really happy about that :) i really am, to see u become back to normal. u have making things right. but maybe (maybe) u tired of chasing friends around. seeing ur closest friends in cyber deactivated. i know that. i felt it. but please if u dont like to feel that, please dont deactivated. many people waiting u here. other people dont like to feel  it too :(

to all of u guys,  i'm begging u guys. please dont do this again and please stop doing it. its hurts. not only me but to those people who are still waiting for u guys. u have friends waiting for u guys. friends that keep their hurt deep inside their heart to wait for u like walaa, ricc, ella, alice, mai and someone i still dunno. i guys may see that they are not concern about u go away but actually they did. they did but they just dont want to show it out. everyone have their ego. but they do not have a single thought to leave u guys. I know u guys have a lot of problem here and lots of burden. If u guys need time and space just ask us. dont punish us with ur sudden gone. :'(  at least tell others so u can have let our pain reduce....  TT^TT to see ur friends gone and deactive its hurts right? so dont do it if u dont like other people do it :'(  please im begging u guys. we the one who are waiting may broken into pieces. pleaasee comeback and dont do that again :'(

TO OTHER FRIENDS WHO KEEPS DEACTIVING LIKE SHIN AND MIO (ERIKA)

u guys... please come back.... ricc and i missing u guys a lot. pleasee..... i know sometimes people make mistakes but every mistakes have its solution and forgiveness. we're not that cruel to not forgive u guys. we have no right to not forgive u guys :'( we make mistakes too :"(